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Bathtime
Q: Why'd the robber take a bath? A: He wanted to make a clean getaway.
Big and Little
Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? A: "You're too young to smoke."
The Dentist
A lady sitting in the dentist chair told the dentist, "I would rather go through the pain of child birth than have you drill in my mouth." The dentist replied, "Well, you had better make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
Papal Infallibility
A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight. “This is exciting,” thinks the gentleman. “Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.” Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him. Shortly ...
Bad Driver
Two guys are driving down 5th Avenue in Manhattan when they come up to a red light. The guy driving slams the gas pedal and they go zooming past the red light. His friend looks at him and says, "Hey, you just went through a red light." The guy driving ...
Bugs and Windshield
Q: What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind as it hits your windshield? A: Its butt.
Blonde's Birth Place
Brunette: "Where were you born?" Blonde: "California." Brunette: "Which part?" Blonde: "All of me."
Safe Sex
Q. What is a man's view of safe sex? A. A padded headboard.
Criticism
Q. Why do men want to marry virgins? A. They can't stand criticism.
Naming Dick
Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.
Singles Bar
Q: How is being at the singles bar different from going to the circus? A: At the circus the clowns don't talk
Raining Money
Q: When does it rain money? A: When there is "change" in the weather.
Blonde in a Storm
Q: Why was the blonde standing outside the department store in the rain? A: She was waiting to cash her rain check!
Horse vs Rain
Q: What's the difference between a horse and the weather? A: One is reined up and the other rains down.
King's Rain
Q: What is a king's favorite kind of precipitation? A: Hail!
Week of Puns, day 7
A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.
Week of Puns, day 6
I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I'm not sure I would get the reaction I'm looking for.
Week of Puns, day 5
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Week of Puns, day 4
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Week of Puns, day 3
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Week of Puns, day 2
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
Week of Puns, day 1
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
And We're Back!
The last month's interruption in service has been brought to you by the fine folks at Google, who I am sure were just following orders and doing their job blindly, without thought, intent, or malice. But enough about them: Your daily content will be back ...
No Juggling
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
Vampire Buds
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have a pint of blood." The second one says, "I'll have one, too." The third one says, "I'll have a pint of plasma." The bartender says, "So, that'll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?"