Welcome to BlackShards.net, the place for daily content on a variety of subjects.
Check out our new Daily Humor application for your iPhone or iPod Touch in the Apple App Store.
We're currently offering a free version of the app with ads and a paid version without ads.
Needless to say, if you're away from your phone/mobile device for any reason, you can also access
our daily content from this web site.
Stay tuned for more developments at BlackShards.net. In 2013, we're planning to roll out
new iOS applications in several different content categories, including the Daily Bible Verse,
Daily Philosopher, Daily Politics, and more.
| Search Results |
|---|
| Children
You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
|
| Bad Memory
They say when you get old the first thing that goes is your memory, but nobody can remember the second thing.
|
| Short Exercise
A man lives and works in the same building. Every day he takes the elevator from the 10th floor down to the 1st floor where he works. At the end of the day he rides from the 1st floor up to the 7th floor and takes the stairs the rest of the way. Why?
He ...
|
| The student
Student: "Should I get in trouble for something I didn't do?"
Teacher: "No."
Student: "Good, because I didn't do my homework."
|
| What do you call a...
Q: What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A: A Yamahahaha
|
| Cow bells
Why do they put bells on cows?
Because their horns don't work!
|
| beautiful
A lawyer was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.
A couple of minutes ...
|
| Code Name
Q: Why was there so much confusion with the Secret Service after George W. Bush took over the White House?
A: Because President Bill Clinton's code name was also "Mr. Bush."
|
| San Antonio Spurs
Q: How old is the Spurs' Tim Duncan?
A: Coach Gregg Popovich told him to play his age and Duncan died.
Q: How do you stop an San Antonio Spurs fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Miami Heat Red!
|
| Sad Bomber
Q: Why was the suicide bomber disappointed when he met his 72 virgins?
A: He finally realized that he'd blown off his penis.
|
| 4 Blondes in a Pickup
Four blondes drive to a bar in their old pickup truck. Short on space, three sit in the cab and one sits in the bed of the truck.
The three blondes go into the bar and order a round of shots. Almost an hour later, the fourth blonde finally joins them. "Where ...
|
| Her Ears Were Burning
A blonde with two burnt ears went to the doctor, who asked what had happened.
"The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron," she said.
"What about the other one?" The doctor exclaimed.
"They called back."
|
| What's the Difference?
What’s the difference between Canadians, Australians and Americans?
Canadians say, “Eh?”
Australians say, “Eh mate!”
and Americans say, “Hey, wanna mate?”
|
| Why Did the Chicken...
Many people think that the chicken crossed the road for personal gain, self-revelation, or some other reason, but the truth is simpler.
So why did the chicken really cross the road?
Just to prove to the armadillo that it could be done.
|
| Knock Knock Dewayne
Boy: Knock, knock.
Girl: Who’s there?
Boy: Dewayne.
Girl: Dewayne who?
Boy: Dewayne the bathtub, it’s overflowing!
|
| Lawyers Robbed
Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in.
While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While ...
|
| Highly Religious Horse
There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. ...
|
| Saturday Night
Q: Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes?
A: It gives them something to do on Saturday night!
|
| Still More Chuck Norris Jokes
When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom - there is no protection from Chuck Norris.
|
| More Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
|
| Russian Jokes 2
Q: What do you call a Russian with Tourette's Syndrome?
A: Yukanol Fukov.
Q: What is 150 yards long and eats potatoes?
A: A Moscow queue waiting to buy meat.
Q: What is Communism?
A: I don't know, but honest Russians say it's the longest and ...
|
| Russian Jokes 1
Q: How does every Russian joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.
Q: What's meant by an exchange opinions in the the Soviet Union?
A: It's when you go to a party meeting with your own opinion, and you leave with the Vlad Putin's.
|
| Blonde at the Store
When I was walking around the super market I noticed a blonde staring really hard at a carton of orange juice.
I asked her what she was doing.
She said "Well, it says on the carton, 'concentrate'".
|
| Dog Jokes 1
Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
A: Terrier-fied!
Q: What do you get if you cross a gun dog with a telephone?
A: A golden receiver!
Q: What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?
A: Dingo Starr! ...
|
| In Common
Q: What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
A: They were all born on holidays!
|