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Wife: A thief has entered our kitchen and he is eating the cake I just made!
Husband: Do I call for the police or an ambulance?

If you think Special K is boring, wait till you try Normal K...

A nightclub just opened down the road and they are offering free drinks all night for less than $20. Tonight I'm gonna party like its $19.99!

That Indian dinner was so authentic I think I hate Pakistan.