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Dog Fooding It

So I was in Wal-Mart yesterday buying a bag of dog food when a beautiful blonde woman in line ahead of me asked if I had a dog.

"No," I said, "but I am starting the dog food diet again. It's a perfect snack. I just put a handful in my pocket and whenever I get hungry I just take out a kibble and pop it in my mouth."

"Sounds awful," the blonde pouted.

"No, it actually worked pretty well last time. I lost 50 pounds before I woke up one day in the hospital with tubes sticking out of my arms."

"Was it the dog food that poisoned you?" She asked.

"Naw," I replied, catching the eye of the man in line in front of the blonde. "That happened when I stepped off the curb to sniff a poodle's butt and got hit by a car!"