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| Search Results | Category |
|---|---|
| A man went to his lawyer and...
A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owed ...
| Humor |
| Psalm 91:15
When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.
| Bible |
| January 4th, 1984
On this day in 1984: Edmonton beats Minnesota 12-8 highest-scoring modern NHL game
| Sports Facts |
| Emily Bronte
I am now quite cured of seeking pleasure in society, be it country or town. A sensible man ought to find sufficient company in himself.
| Philosophy |
| A doctor tells an old couple at...
A doctor tells an old couple at his office he needs to get a stool sample, a urine sample, and a blood test from the old man. Hard of hearing, the old man asks his wife what the doctor said. The wife replies, "He needs a pair of your underwear."
| Humor |
| Matthew 19:4-5
He answered, "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?
| Bible |
| January 3rd, 1991
On this day in 1991: LA King Wayne Gretzky scores his 700th goal against NY Islanders
| Sports Facts |
| Robert A. Heinlein
An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.
| Philosophy |
| Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a...
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
| Humor |
| Psalm 1:1
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers
| Bible |
| January 2nd, 1945
On this day in 1945: Kentucky begins 130 home basketball game win streak, ends in 1955
| Sports Facts |
| P. J. O'Rourke
Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
| Philosophy |
| A mother tells her little boy, "Johnny,...
A mother tells her little boy, "Johnny, you mustn't eat too many lollies or I'll hide the lolly jar." Johnny asks, "Why?" His mother says, "Because something bad will happen! Your tummy will blow up big like a balloon and then pop!" The next day at church, ...
| Humor |
| Albert Einstein
No amount of experimentation can ever prove me right; a single experiment can prove me wrong.
| Philosophy |
| Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
| Bible |
| January 1st, 1963
On this day in 1963: 49th Rose Bowl: #1 Southern California beats #2 Wisconsin, 42-37
| Sports Facts |
| The First Case
An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer. "Mr. Peterson," she says. "Would you say you're honest?" "Honest?" replies Peterson. "Let me tell you something about honesty. My father lent me $85,000 for my education, ...
| Humor |
| Louis Pasteur
Science knows no country, because knowledge belongs to humanity, and is the torch which illuminates the world. Science is the highest personification of the nation because that nation will remain the first which carries the furthest the works of thought and ...
| Philosophy |
| December 31st, 1989
On this day in 1989: Jockey Kent Desormeaux sets record with 598 wins in a year
| Sports Facts |
| Genesis 1:27
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
| Bible |
| Did It Even have Twitter??
I was showing my kids an old rotary phone when my nine-year-old asked, “How did you text on it?”
My 15-year-old daughter roared with laughter, until a thought occurred to her: “Wait, where did you store your contacts?”
| Humor |
| Edwin Powell Hubble
Equipped with his five senses, man explores the universe around him and calls the adventure Science.
| Philosophy |
| December 30th, 1947
On this day in 1947: 36th Davis Cup: USA beats Australia in New York (4-1)
| Sports Facts |
| Genesis 1:1-13
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. ...
| Bible |
| Running the Show
I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security. As part of my job, I explain court procedures to visitors. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. Court was in recess and only the clerk and a young man in custody wearing handcuffs were ...
| Humor |