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Redneck Dad: "Why you crying?"

Redneck Girl: "My boyfriend dumped me!"

Her dad grabs his shotgun and rushes out the door shouting, "That son of a gun! I'll be back!"

An hour later he comes back looking much happier.

Girl: "Why did you go kill Billy Bob?"

Dad: "I didn't."

Girl: "Then where did you go?"

Dad: "To get you ice cream."

Girl: "So why in the heck did you take your shotgun?!"

Dad: "So I could get it for free!"