Saudi Soccer
An important rugby match was being held in Saudi Arabia and an Australian, a South African, and a New Zealand were watching and sharing a smuggled bottle of booze when Saudi police rush in and arrest them.
Possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so they are all sentenced to death. However, after many months and with the help of good lawyers, several large bribes, and a benevolent sheikh, it was decided that they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the sheikh announced, "It's my first wife's birthday today and she asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The South African was first and said said, "Please tie a pillow to my back."
His wish was granted, but even with the pillow he lasted only 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done, the South African had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Australian was next up. After witnessing the South African's fate, he said smugly, "Please fix two pillows to my back." It was done, but even two pillows could take only 15 lashes before the whip tore through. 5 lashes later, the Australian was led away while he whimpered loudly.
The New Zealander was up last, but before he could say anything, the sheikh turned to him and said, "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thank you, your most royal and merciful highness," the Kiwi replied. "In appreciation of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20 lashes but 100 lashes."
"You are very brave," the sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish"?
Wearing a wicked grin, the New Zealander answered, "Tie the Australian to my back."
Possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so they are all sentenced to death. However, after many months and with the help of good lawyers, several large bribes, and a benevolent sheikh, it was decided that they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the sheikh announced, "It's my first wife's birthday today and she asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The South African was first and said said, "Please tie a pillow to my back."
His wish was granted, but even with the pillow he lasted only 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done, the South African had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Australian was next up. After witnessing the South African's fate, he said smugly, "Please fix two pillows to my back." It was done, but even two pillows could take only 15 lashes before the whip tore through. 5 lashes later, the Australian was led away while he whimpered loudly.
The New Zealander was up last, but before he could say anything, the sheikh turned to him and said, "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thank you, your most royal and merciful highness," the Kiwi replied. "In appreciation of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20 lashes but 100 lashes."
"You are very brave," the sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish"?
Wearing a wicked grin, the New Zealander answered, "Tie the Australian to my back."