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Dog's 10 Commandments

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell.

3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a ”face towel.”

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello."

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house—not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.