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Ellen Degeneres virus... Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC

Monica Lewinsky virus... Sucks all the memory out of your computer

Mike Tyson virus... Quits after one byte

Lorena Bobbit virus... Turns your hard disk into a 3.5-inch floppy

Tonya Harding virus... Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons

Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus... Deletes your old files