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Cattle Guards

A few months ago, President Obama received and was reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado . The Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, so Obama ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the "cattle" guards immediately!

Before the Secretary of the Interior could respond and presumably try to straighten President Obama out on the matter, Vice-President Joe Biden, intervened with a request that, before any "cattle" guards were fired, they be given six months of retraining.

(Of course, as nearly everyone knows, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads, and adjacent to highways, to prevent cattle from crossing over that area.)