Welcome to BlackShards.net, the place for daily content on a variety of subjects. Check out our new Daily Humor application for your iPhone or iPod Touch in the Apple App Store. We're currently offering a free version of the app with ads and a paid version without ads.
Needless to say, if you're away from your phone/mobile device for any reason, you can also access our daily content from this web site.
Stay tuned for more developments at BlackShards.net. In 2013, we're planning to roll out new iOS applications in several different content categories, including the Daily Bible Verse, Daily Philosopher, Daily Politics, and more.
Filter by Category:
Search Results
Texas
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. The locals had a habit of picking on strangers, so when he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above ...
The Wonderful Brain
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. -- Robert Frost
No Dancing
Q: Why can't Barack Obama dance? A: Because he has two leftist feet.
Joe Biden Jokes
Q: Why did Senator Joe Biden lose his voice on the campaign trail? A: A hair plug got stuck in his throat! Q: What did Joe Biden's advisors do on his first full day as vice president? A: They spent most of the day watering his hair! Q: Why shouldn't ...
Yo Mama So...
Yo mama so stupid when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she spent three hours looking for the "Any" key before she called the Geek Squad!
You Might Be Chinese If...
You feel awkward when someone asks you to leave your shoes on in their house, or You have a 40lb. bag of rice in your pantry, or At least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius say...", or You buy soy sauce by the gallon, or Your parents ...
Rainy Days
Q: What's the difference between a horse and the weather? A: One is reined up and the other rains down. Q: Why does Snoop Dog need an umbrella? A: Fo' Drizzle. Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks? A: Foul weather!
Knock Knock Oink
Girl: Knock knock. Boy: Who's there? Girl: Oink oink. Boy: Oink oink who? Girl: Make up your mind, are you a pig or an owl?!
Knock Knock Go
Boy: Knock knock. Girl: Who's there? Boy: Cows go. Girl: Cows go who? Boy: No, cows go moo!
Electricity 2
Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair? -- Dennis Miller
Electricity 1
Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. -- Tim Allen
Comparative Religion
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump, so I shouted, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?” He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I ...
True Statistics
A recent finding by statisticians shows the average human has one breast and one testicle.
No Novocaine
Q) Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? A) His goal: transcend dental medication.
Speculative Women's Studies
A philosopher asked a linguist, “What if, instead of periods, women had apostrophes?” The linguist replied, “They'd be more possessive and have more frequent contractions.”
Cheers
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. “You mean a martini?” The bartender asks. The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!” Later, another Roman walks into the bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, ...
Law of Averages
A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses five feet to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!”
Living Statues
A famous scientist developed a formula to bring statues to life. He went to a local park to try it out on a statue of Gen. Ulysses S. Grant. After application, General Grant began to move and soon was completely alive. The scientist asked, "What's the ...
Baseball Chuckles
Boy: What did the baseball glove say to the ball? Girl: I’m stumped. Boy: “Catch ya later!” Girl: Why are some umpires fat? Boy: I give up. Girl: They always clean their plate!
Medical Innovation: Mumsnet
Mumsnet to use parent power to run the nation's maternity wards The Department of Health today announced the launch of a pilot scheme to trial the outsourcing of maternity wards to Mumsnet, the UK's largest network for parents. This groundbreaking scheme ...
Knock Knock Ahmed
Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there ? Boy: Ahmed! Girl: Ahmed who? Boy: Ahmed a big mistake coming here!
Eye of Newt
"Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing," chanted the old crone. Hearing this, the yong man opposite her leaned over to his wife and whispered, "I hate going ...
The Paint Job
A hobo comes up to the front door of a neat looking farmhouse and raps gently on the door. When the farm owner answers, the hobo asks him, "Please, sir, could you give me something to eat? I haven't had a good meal in several days." The owner says, "I ...
Man's Lifetime
God created the donkey and said to him: “You will work unceasingly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years.“ The donkey answered: “I will be a donkey, but to live ...
Circus Humor
A man goes to a doctor for a rash on his arm. "What do you do for a living?" the doctor asks him. "I work at the circus, giving enemas to the elephants," the guy says. "Quit doing that and the rash will clear up," the doctor says. The guy replies, horrified, ...