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You Are Going to Die
You are older at this moment than you’ve ever been before, and it’s the youngest you’re ever going to get. The mortality rate is holding at a scandalous 100 percent. Pretending death can be indefinitely evaded with hot yoga or a gluten-free diet or antioxidants ...
Philosophy
Safe Sex
Q: What's another name for teenagers whose only Sex Education comes from "Abstinence Only" programs? A: Parents
Humor
The Disciples Learn About Jesus' Return
Acts 1:10-11 10 While Jesus was going up to heaven, the disciples kept on looking at the sky. Suddenly two men dressed in white clothing stood beside them. 11 "Men of Galilee," they said, "why do you stand here looking at the sky? Jesus has been taken ...
Bible
Wisdom and Pain
Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain. -- Robert E. Lee
Philosophy
Stolen Car
A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy street. Suddenly, the light turned yellow just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk. The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming as she missed her chance ...
Humor
Jesus Ascends into Heaven
Acts 1:6-9 6 When the apostles met together, they asked Jesus a question. "Lord," they said, "are you going to give the kingdom back to Israel now?" 7 He said to them, "You should not be concerned about times or dates. The Father has set them by his ...
Bible
Doing What is Right
Never, never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way. -- Martin Luther King Jr.
Philosophy
Cattle Guards
A few months ago, President Obama received and was reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado . The Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, so Obama ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire ...
Humor
More of God's Promise
Genesis 8:21-22 21 I will never destroy all living things again, as I have just done. 22 "As long as the earth lasts, there will always be a time to plant and a time to gather the crops. As long as the earth lasts, there will always be cold and heat. ...
Bible
Choosing How to be Governed
The choice facing the nation is between two totally different ways of life. And what a prize we have to fight for: no less than the chance to banish from our land the dark, divisive clouds of Marxist socialism and bring together men and women from all walks ...
Philosophy
Wife's Birthday Present
A man was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. So, I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate ...
Humor
RIP Margaret Thatcher, the Iron Lady
(A bonus quote today, in honor of her passing. Great Britain and the world are a better place today because of Mrs. Thatcher.) I owe nothing to women’s lib. The feminists hate me, don’t they? And I don’t blame them. For I hate feminism. It is poison. -- ...
Philosophy
God's Promise to Noah
Genesis 8:19-21 19 Everything that moves on the earth came out of the ark. One kind after another came out. 20 Then Noah built an altar to honor the Lord. He took some of all of the "clean" animals and birds. He sacrificed burnt offerings to the Lord ...
Bible
Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. -- Reinhold Niebuhr
Philosophy
Acts of God
A poor minister's wife was expecting a baby, so he went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule such that, when the minister's family expanded, so would his pay check. Several years went by ...
Humor
Psalm 5, part 1
Psalm 5:3-7 3 In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly. 4 For you are not a God who is pleased with wickedness; with you, evil people are not welcome. 5 The arrogant cannot stand in ...
Bible
On Giving Up
Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. -- Unknown
Philosophy
You Might Be a Redneck 1
You might be a redneck if... Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging; or, You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance; or, Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Humor
Jesus is Above All
Hebrews 1:8-9 8 But about the Son he says, "Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever; a scepter of justice will be the scepter of your kingdom." 9 "You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness; therefore God, your God, has set you above your ...
Bible
Racism as Collectivism
Racism is the lowest, most crudely primitive form of collectivism. It is the notion of ascribing moral, social or political significance to a man’s genetic lineage—the notion that a man’s intellectual and characterological traits are produced and transmitted ...
Philosophy
Men vs. Tile
Q: How are men like ceramic floor tile? A: If you lay either one properly the first time you can walk all over it for a lifetime!
Humor
Proof of Jesus' Position
Hebrews 1:4-7 5 For to which of the angels did God ever say, "You are my Son; today I have become your Father"? Or again, "I will be his Father, and he will be my Son"? 6 And again, when God brings his firstborn into the world, he says, "Let all God’s ...
Bible
Respect for Parents
If I had dared, even once, to address my parents the way I often see children speaking to theirs nowadays, I wouldn't be here to moderate this pithy stream of quotes! -- Marc Moore
Philosophy
Pakistani Toilet
A Pakistani comes to America and begins working in an office environment. He is unfamiliar with American advances in toiletry and, on his first day on the job, he comes back from the men's room saying he can't find the usual hole in the ground. His boss explains ...
Humor
The Son is Superior to the Angels
Hebrews 1:3-4 3 The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven. 4 So he ...
Bible